Wednesday, 1 February 2012

True Love - Writing Your Wedding Vows

photo booth wedding pic

When my husband and I got engaged, things were tough. Times were hard, and we suffered many, many setbacks. Bombshells, in fact.

From the moment we told people about our relationship, there were lots of tears, lots of arguments and lots of hurt. Not because of us, but because of our cultural differences. It nearly tore us apart.

We got told that we would go to hell, that we would be ostracised and that we were bringing shame on certain members of the family. We were selfish, apparently. Selfish and foolish.

Some days, we just wanted to run away and hide from it all. We encountered so many hurdles (mountains, in fact) that at times, it felt like we wanted to do the impossible.

I'm in the process of writing a post on what happened, but for now you just need to know that love is all that got us through.

So, when we actually got married, our priorities were different. To us, it wasn’t about the fancy venue, the expensive dress, or the award-winning photographer. It wasn’t about gourmet food, how many bridesmaids we could afford, or having a killer hair do. 

shoot wedding

No. It was about love, pure and simple. It was all about the vows we were making to one another.

Looking back now (one and a half years on), I think that this shines through. I know that it was our wedding and so I am biased, but I have never felt so much love in one room – our love for each other, and our love for our friends and family who stood by us throughout.

But for me, the moment which made our whole wedding complete was the exchange of vows.

We wrote our own vows, and I have never written or spoken anything which I meant more. Even now, I start to cry when I think about our vows. I'm over-emotional at the best of times, but I simply can’t help it - they were personal to us because they reflected everything about us as a couple.

writing wedding vows
Two cultures coming together
When I started to write them, I couldn't put my pen down. I had so much to say, so many feelings I wanted to put into words. I went through dozens of old emails my husband and I had sent to each other during the years we had been together.

I took phrases from our emails, and wrote about how we started out as best friends. I wrote about how I had dreamed of being his wife - I had just never dared tell him the way I felt. I made sure I wrote about everything which was important to him, to us.

muslim wedding
Lots of bling at our Indian wedding
Monty included a line in his about how I would travel the world to be with him. He had always told me that his future wife, his dream woman, would go anywhere to be by his side - even Scunthorpe.

I know of a few couples who stole their “personal vows” off the internet. Why? Because they looked good, and they wanted to impress their guests. Perhaps they were funny, or simply sounded "right". Perhaps they were romantic, or poetic.

Ours weren't, but I don't care. Neither my husband nor I cared what our guests thought of our vows. It wasn’t about anyone but us – it was a statement of our love.

indian wedding

As we said them, we were stood there in our own little bubble. It felt as though no one else was in the room. I was completely blind to everything, everyone, except my husband.

He felt the same. In fact, he was so caught up in the moment that he even forgot his own name. We could barely speak through the tears, but we did. We said those vows and we smiled. We knew what they meant to each other.

When I turned round after the ceremony, I was stunned to see so many people crying along with us. Even some of my friend’s boyfriends and husbands were in tears. People who I thought of as ‘tough’ were openly weeping!

In fact, the registrar told us that she had never been moved to tears at a wedding before. At least she hadn't until she came to ours. She said our love was tangible, that it shone through. And that was what we wanted – our vows made our day.

indian wedding pic
Happily ever after

So now, when I want to look back and reflect upon our wedding day, I simply sit and read our vows. They transport me right back to that moment, right back to that emotion and right back to that love.

I remember everything about why I got married, and why I love my husband more than anything in the world. That, to me, is what marriage is all about.

Love, a very very soppy and weepy Sam xxx

P.S If you're interested in reading them, here are our vows...


Monty, from the very moment I met you, I knew that I loved you.

To be your friend was all I ever wanted, but to be your wife was all I ever dreamed.

And now, I choose you as my best friend, my love for life and my soul mate.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I’m with you.

As I give you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.

I love you – now, tomorrow, and forever.


Sam, I choose you as my best friend, my love for life and my soul mate.

I love you because I know that you would follow me to the ends of the earth and beyond.

I promise to always love you for who you are, no matter what.

All that I am and all that I have, I give to you to keep.

I love you – now, tomorrow, and forever.