Sunday, 26 February 2012

NOT Into This.....

1.  Stubbing your toe it really hurts. Or like Teresa, smashing your thumb in a door. OUCH!

2.  People who spit in the street. You spit near me, I should be allowed to kick you in the face.

3.  Cheap perfume. You

4.  Long toenails - feet talons are NOT allowed.

5.  People who say "yous" or "yourself" instead of the proper word "you". Or "myself" instead of "I".

6.  Those little smelly trees that people put in cars to smell nice. They don't smell nice. They smell like
     baby sick.

7.  Yes you may have a cold but please DO NOT blow your nose near me. The thought of your sloppy
     snot makes me gag! And why on earth do you then open the tissue to have a good look at it

8.  Traffic calming measures. They have recently installed a lot of speed bumps on a road I use everyday.
     I know some people drive like maniacs but please stick up a speed camera, not punish us good drivers
    with stupid obstacles in our way. I will happily hire a jackhammer and remove said bumps.

9.  Paninis. These pathetic flat french bread things which seem to be the only food served at many high
     street coffee houses and they taste like crap. I never think to myself "Ooh, I really fancy a panini for
     my lunch". No! I want something which doesn't have a filling resembling something a drunken
     reveller vomited up the night before.

10. Dogs with disproportionately large genitals. I hate it when you see their balls swinging from side to
      side and then to add insult to injury they sit down and flash a bright pink lipstick at you.

A big THANK YOU to Jenny for contributing the first six rants to this week's moan.

Teresa x