Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Why You Don't Have To Say Good Riddance to 2014

It is that time of year again where we begin to reflect on the past twelve months and how much they meant to us. For some reason so many of us are too quick to say goodbye to a dreadful year and hope next year will be a whole lot better. But why do we do this?

I know I could join the good riddance to 2014 club, there were many awful things which happened which I wish hadn't but surely there's more to this last year than just bad memories and the tears shed? Every year people say the same about the previous twelve months not being what they wanted but never consider the positive occurrences and taking them forward into the new year ahead.

So, this time I am going to concentrate my thoughts on the events which delighted me and many others. You shouldn't be dwelling on the shit because it will only hold you back from achieving greater things. It is much more productive if we look at all those bad things and remember that they are just memories in our head. Nothing more than a story which some of us replay time and time again which will only mean one thing - feeling a whole lot worse.

Do you ever replay the good memories in your head? I bet you don't. And so what if you made some mistakes, if we didn't make mistakes then how on earth would we learn anything?

Sam and myself have been having a lot of chats about how we need to shift our focus towards better thoughts. If we focus on the positives then surely we will reap the rewards from feeling a lot lighter and in turn happier.

We hear how happiness is a choice all the time but unless our minds are focussed on positive thoughts then happiness will never be a choice. I know from my own experience of scrutinising previous events which have badly affected me that I only achieved one thing - a choice to be sad. Unknowingly I chose to be sad because I was preoccupied with thinking about the shit in my life. I can't rectify the shit, it's already happened but I can file it away as "some shit". That's all it is, a bad story I'm playing in my head. I can choose to play happier stories instead, like the joy of having my family around me at Christmas. So many of us forget how blessed we are to have our family, our health and even a roof over our heads. The superficial crap like a new outfit, a new hairdo or some sexy Charlotte Tilbury makeup isn't something we are going to focus on to define our lives.

You should remember how fortunate you are. Yes I have lost loved ones who I miss terribly but I'm so glad they were a part of my life and I had the chance to know such an amazing person. I can take everything I learnt from those special people and inspire others in my life today.

And the best bit about all of this positivity? It's all free! You haven't got to break the bank to be happy: a cuddle, a smile or a good old chinwag will create more cheerfulness for others. There is beauty and kindness around us all everyday. You don't have to be in the company of others to find it. Look out your window and admire the view. There's prettiness to be found whether it's a frosty cobweb, a flower beginning to bud or simply the sound of the birds chirping in the morning.

All these amazing things in nature have been around us every day of every year but yet some of us chose to focus on the crap in our lives. I know I have moaned about many: the automated phone calls where I'm held in a queuing system for over twenty minutes, the dirty socks on my son's bedroom floor and the lack of compassion shown by those who should care. However, none of this crap defines me, it's just crap, that's all.

We all encounter crap everyday, some crap is more serious and can affect our lives greatly, but for how long? There's some beautiful things happening everyday and we do encounter them but not many of us focus on their importance. The crap isn't important; the simple beautiful things are. From the smallest things which go unnoticed by many to the greater events in our lives which we remember dearly. I bet we could compile a list of all the positive things which occurred during 2014, in fact, why not do one now?!

Here's mine:

1.  Hearing my children laughing their socks off.
2.  My friendship with Sam becoming even stronger. That girl is amazing and I don't know what I'd do without her.
3.  Enjoying a fortnight holiday in the sun with my family.
4.  Lots of cuddles with baby Leo.
5.  The fright on my childrens' face when I announced I was going to see One Direction in concert.
6.  Watching my children grow into wonderful young adults. All of them are taller than me now.
7.  Lots of chats over a cuppa with friends.
8.  Thankful to those who come to visit me when I cannot get out.
9.  The NHS providing me with the care and help I need.
10. The endless chuckles with my husband and our warped sense of humour.

I know I could easily list ten things which disappointed me in 2014 but what would that achieve? Most likely more sadness. I know life has its ups and downs, it will never run smoothly, but if I can focus more on the positives then surely this will be more beneficial. 2014 doesn't have to be so bad, does it?!

Teresa x