Sunday, 14 September 2014

NOT INTO THIS - Back To School

1. Any parent who has children of school age will be skint until next payday because of the ridiculous cost of school uniforms nowadays. Having to purchase overpriced specific school branded jumpers, blazers, ties, pe tops, rugby shirts, etc as well as the four items of footwear (school shoes, indoor trainers, running trainers and football boots) because your child's feet will have gone up a size or two is enough to reduce you to a diet of rice and beans for the foreseeable future.

2. Every single item for school uniform requires a name label so your child can identify their clothes when getting changed for PE. You will be sat sewing in these labels for many hours. The more children you have the more of a chore this is.

3. Even though you have clearly labelled each item of uniform you can guarantee your child will come home from school within the first week of term wearing someone else's tatty school jumper which will be two sizes too small.

4. You will ensure your son/daughter has got all the equipment they need when starting back to school in their new school bag. After spending another fortune in the stationery shop you may as well have burnt your money because within a few weeks of being back at school the contents of their pencil case will be empty.

5. Not only have you shelled out hundreds of pounds for the beginning of the new school year you will receive a letter from school detailing the wonderful trips abroad your child can partake in. How on earth can you explain to your child that they cannot go on the ever popular ski trip to Austria with all of their friends? Not only this you will receive other letters demanding money for other day trips, school insurance and craft equipment. You now contemplate whether to sell a kidney just so you can afford next month's mortgage payment.

6. After enjoying the lie-ins during the school summer holidays you have now got to get your child back into the routine of going bed early and getting up early ready for school each morning. They're not happy about this at all.

7. For all those other commuters on the roads each morning they are now going to be held up with the fleets of parents doing the school run. And if you are really lucky this will coincide with your local council choosing to do road repairs on all main routes.

8. Buying the dreaded new school uniform each year is a task dreaded by all parents. Not just because of the financial expense but you will be get ridiculously stressed because there are no more school embroiderered PE polo shirts in your child's size. You hate yourself for leaving it to the last minute again but after paying out for entertainment for six weeks of school holidays you had to wait until the end of August for your wages.

9. It doesn't matter how smart your child looks on the first day back at school, give it a week and they will have torn a hole in their trousers, chewed the cuff on their jumper or a drink has leaked inside their school bag.

10. No sooner have they been back at school but they are off again for another week because it's October. Oh poo, who's going to look after the kids this time when you've taken all your annual leave from work?