Wednesday, 9 April 2014
AGEING - Are You As Bad As Me?
On Monday next week it is my birthday, for most people you would be looking forward to this but for me I am not overjoyed simply because I am getting far too close to the dreaded 40. For the last five years I have been hating the ageing process so today I want to see how many of you do the same as me....
1. If you are anything like me you are paranoid as hell about looking old. Looking in the mirror is no longer a pleasant experience as you scrutinise every little detail.
2. When you are out in public you may see somebody you went to school with. Immediately asking your husband "guess how old she is over there?" And being chuffed to bits if he says they look much older than you.
3. Last week whilst watching Masterchef I was gutted when I noticed contestant, Michael, was eight years younger than me. Before knowing his real age I believed he was in his mid 40s. So if I thought he looked much older does that mean I have no concept of how old I really look?
4. You resent teenagers. Their glossy hair, flawless skin, freedom to dress and do what they want when they want.
5. Do you invest in any smoothing wrinkle potion which may delay the ageing process?
6. Am I the only one who will compare photos to even just a year ago and realise I have aged alot since then?
7. Always thought men went bald but now you are scrutinising your own hairline and thickness of hair because you know your luscious locks aint what they used to be.
8. Used to be able to buy clothes in any colour but now you have to select hues which work with your pale grey skin and don't enhance the dark rings under your eyes.
9. Are you applying hand cream at any given opportunity?
10. Listening to Radio 1 is sheer torture.
11. Noticing that teachers, doctors and dentists are way younger than you. It doesn't feel right chatting to my GP about personal issues when they would have been in nappies when I took my GCSEs .
12. Do you occasionally research mini face lifts or whether botox will aid your tiring appearance? I do. But then I think of Helen mirren and pray I will look as sexy as she does when I hit her age.
13. Suddenly eating healthy and exercise is more important to you than ever. But whenever I binge on chocolate I think how Nigella Lawson looks way better than Gillian McKeith and they're the same age.
14. When a friend on Facebook turns 38 on September 1st you hate it because you know you were in the same school year and even though your birthday isn't until April the next year you know it will be here quicker than you can blow out your birthday candles.
15. Getting a spot is no longer a problem for you because it means you still have some teenager problems. Deep down you know it's because your period is due but in your head you'll believe you are closer to 16 than going through the change.
16. Teeth whitening is a priority now.
17. Instagram is your best friend. The only photos you allow others to see will have been enhanced with one of the filters which diminishes your wrinkles and dark rings really well.
18. When flicking through Marie Claire and reading an article about eradicating ageing physical signs, you are quite sure that feature was personally written for you.
19. Shopping for new clothes is now about how to hide your flaws and not so much about being trendy. Black and navy are your best friend for hiding bulges.
20. You do your best to avoid having your photo taken. But if someone does get a pic you are on Facebook untagging yourself quicker than lighting.
So come on, am I the only one that the above 20 points apply to? Surely I can't be the only paranoid ageing freak.