Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Who's Making The Decisions For Your Wedding?

With the euphoria of getting engaged you would think the start of wedding planning is going to go smoothly. But often it doesn't.

There will be groans about the location of your wedding; there will be raised eyebrows at how much your dress has cost; but one of the biggest causes of arguments is the dreaded guest list. You may only have enough spaces for 60 people but you will have a relative insisting that eight members of your extended family must be invited even though you wouldn't even recognise them if you were walking past them in the street.

family wedding

It is so easy to insist that you are only going to invite those who you know, who you talk to regularly and those who are on your contact list on your phone. But if you're not paying for all of the wedding then surely you need to be a bit more flexible?

Oh and then there is the big decision, do you invite children too?

Unfortunately people who receive an invitation to your wedding forget the cost per guest and may not understand why you cannot invite all three of their children at £85 per head. And they can take great offence when their invitation arrives without the slightest mention of their darling little ones. In fact, they can be so offended they refuse to attend your wedding. Sad but true.

My husband and I were very lucky and managed to arrange our wedding reasonably stress-free. We did pay for the majority of the day ourselves so felt we could be more selfish with our decisions on who could come and who definitely was not coming. I am all too aware this is not the case for others and I cannot imagine how awful it must be to have an overbearing relative making demands for your special day.

The one thing you must always remind other people of - it is your day, your photos and your memories. It is you creating your family history. It has got to be right for you. Planning a wedding is not always straightforward and you will hit some hurdles along the way. But always try and remember, this isn't about your extended family and definitely not your work colleagues. It is about you and your fiancĂ© embarking on a life together forever.

Who decides on THE dress?

Who is choosing your wedding dress? I definitely chose mine but there were times when I did wobble on my choice of dress when I didn't hear any gasps or see any happy tears from my Mum.

One thing I did experience whilst visiting various bridal shops was one shop assistant who seemed to think she was going to be choosing my dress because anything I pointed to she pulled a face at. She seemed to be hellbent on getting me to try on a big princess gown with scatters of diamantĂ© over the tulle skirt. I don't know why she had me down as a Katie Price bride but needless to say, I didn't hang about in her boutique for very long.

wedding dress, shopping

If you're not strong-minded and have an overbearing bridesmaid who thinks she knows exactly what sort of wedding dress you should have, things can rapidly become distressing. My biggest advice is go wedding gown shopping on your own! Once you have whittled your choices down to three dresses then ask them along to help you decide which one to have. Don't try any other dresses on which they like the look of. Stick to your guns, they are there to help you to choose which one of the three you should opt for.

I hope you get the dress AND the guest list you want to have.

Happy Wedding Wednesday

Teresa x